Bishop Arthur J. Serratelli
In The Golden Girls, Dorothy Zbornak fires off one caustic remark after another to the naïve Rose from St. Olaf, to Southern Belle Blanche, and to her feisty mom Sophia, a match for her sharp tongue. In The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon Cooper constantly puts down his friends with his scientific retorts. And, womanizer Charlie Harper from Two and a Half Men comes in for a tie for sarcasm with sharp-tongued Max Black from 2 Broke Girls. From these characters comes an unrelenting barrage of sarcasm.
Witty and humorous repartee makes for very engaging entertainment. In fact, TV sitcoms, past and present, attract viewers with clever and quick-witted characters and their sarcastic humor. However, TV is one thing and life is another.
At times, a mildly sarcastic remark may lighten up a tense situation. Nonetheless, a continual use of sarcasm creates a negative environment and impedes true communication. On a dreadfully rainy day, someone might facetiously say to a friend, “What a nice day!” A bit of sarcasm. The speaker means the exact opposite. But, the remark chases some of the dark clouds away. Not so when someone says to a friend who has just failed at a business endeavor, “What a surprise!” This remark cuts the person’s self-esteem to shreds.
At times, there can be a positive use of sarcasm when it is limited to putting down evil. In his famous contest with the false prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel, the prophet Elijah uses sarcasm in just this way. When the cries and lamentations of the false prophets receive no response from their pagan god Baal, Elijah taunts them. He sarcastically remarks, “Call louder… [Baal] may be doing his business [a euphemism for taking care of bodily needs] or has taken a trip. Perhaps he is sleeping and needs to be awakened” (1 Kgs 18:27). Here sarcasm cuts to the quick to expose the non-existence of Baal.
Even the apostle Paul could be sarcastic. In Galatia, there were some Christians who were insisting that converts from paganism had to first accept the Law of Moses and undergo circumcision before being received in the Church. Paul becomes so angry that he tells the Galatians, “As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and castrate themselves!” (Gal 5:12). Paul uses sarcasm to cut off the false teaching that was denying the sufficiency of the gospel and the redemptive work of Christ.
The noun sarcasm comes from the Greek verb σαρκάζειν (sarkazein) which literally means “to cut or tear flesh.” And that is exactly what sarcasm does. In ordinary conversation, when someone makes a sarcastic remark, the laughter that ensues does not dull the edge of the sharp and cutting words. Sarcasm is an indirect way of expressing disagreement, disgust and disdain. The words themselves may seem neutral, but, beneath the surface, there is aggression. Sarcastic speech is the step-sister of bullying.
When we are placed in situations where someone speaks to us with sarcasm, we feel unsettled. We immediately sense that the person using sarcasm looks down on us. Our values. Our likes. Our personality traits. Our work. We are being attacked.
None of us enjoys negative criticism that comes veiled in sarcastic humor. Psychologists tell us that we respond more to positive encouragement than to negative criticism. When faced with negativity, we become angry and defensive. Communication stagnates and, if the negativity continues, communication dies.
On the one hand, those who make constant use of sarcasm betray their own lack of self-confidence. They lack the courage to speak plainly. They prefer to ward off any negativity towards themselves. They place a wall of separation from others. Their sarcasm is an attempt to insulate and protect themselves from feelings of hurt and inadequacy.
On the other hand, those who shun speaking the belittling, critical and taunting language of sarcasm not only avoid hurting and offending others, but they themselves become more confident and happier. Distancing ourselves from sarcasm helps us grow in self-esteem and become more productive.
Sarcasm is a dangerous use of humor. It may be funny on TV, but, in most circumstances of everyday life, it is a poison that kills the heart and stifles communication. However, speaking with compassion and understanding, mindful of the good of others, is an act of humility that places us next to the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us.